Sunday, 16 June 2013

Re-evaluating Relationships; Changing/Removing Friendships.

Demi Lovato went to Company magazine and spoke about how she only got four texts and a missed call after she left rehab.

I can relate (except for the rehab part...).

I'm not naive. I understand that the friends you have today will probably not be there tomorrow; it's only the very few that last til the very end. Worse still, you also learn to rely less and less on family...

As I have progressed through life, my primary school friends and I aren't so close anymore. Our interaction is reduced to Facebook/Hyves (a Dutch social networking site) or no interaction whatsoever. It's something I don't even feel so bad about. People grow apart due to hitting puberty, meeting new people or because they live on the other side of the North Sea (I went to school in the Netherlands).

Fast forward to secondary school, I made some great friends and remained with a few of them in sixth form. At university, we grew apart; time, distance, meeting new people etc., just changed things. I talk with a few of them on Facebook and we will say hi when we bump into each other but that's about it...

Now I have finished uni, I made some friends, some will remain, others will definitely not.

I suppose people who I became friends with outside of university are the ones I will be keeping in touch with for some time... basically because we weren't pressured to become friends because we were all cooped up in a classroom six hours a day. We are friends by choice and share very similar interests too.

When my brother died I had a wake-up call. You know how they say that during your most difficult times you know who's for real and who isn't? That's exactly what I experienced.

At the time of his death it really bothered me that some people didn't call or even thought of sending me a message... a simple message. An overwhelming amount of people did call me, send me messages online or via text, telling me they're there for me and sending their condolences. Some friends even spend entire days with me and came over to visit and help out. Another amazing friend came from London and baked cupcakes for me and my family. I will never forget that.

I have confronted those who never called or showed up (except those who had a really valid reason for not visiting), only to be showered with a myriad of excuses. From then on I decided to just brush it off and re-examine my relationship with them... I ended up placing them in my 'low priority' list and reduce my conversations with them to small talk.

Let tragedies be a lesson that sometimes it is best not to expect even the simplest of things from people... also, do not overlook the ones who have consistently been there for you... and finally, do not depend on others too much, don't be afraid to ever depend on yourself.