Saturday 9 March 2013

Bully Victims Need Plastic Surgery

A few weeks ago I read about a 14-year-old girl who got bullied for having big ears and got $40K worth of plastic surgery for it for free.

These are her before and after images:

Before and After

Nadia got her ears, nose and chin done. She did this in response to the relentless bullying she endured since age 7.

*Big freaking SIGH*.

It pains me that poor Nadia had to endure relentless bullying because of the way she looked.

But... I would never advice the plastic surgery route for those who get relentlessly bullied. But... if you are happy with what you can end up with, by all means do it. And if you really think you need it anyway (aside from the bullying influencing your decision to get plastic surgery) then do it!

But no one should expect someone to get plastic surgery to stop the bullying because bullies will always bully no matter what.

I have been bullied for many years at school and I have detailed my experience here.

I was bullied from secondary school up until sixthform about my forehead. The difference between my forehead and Nadia's previously big ears is that I can't get plastic surgery for my forehead. I can't reduce its size. I can't pull my hairline forward, it would look so weird so I would never even want to entertain that thought. The only thing I can do is cover up my forehead with a beanie or a fringe or... embrace it for what it is. The latter is more terrifying and is a work in progress.

I view myself as a victim of bullying. I don't blame myself for being bullied. I also don't feel that I should have changed myself in order to stop being bullied. Why should I change the way I was made in order to please others? They're still going to find something to bully me about.

Sadly though, victim blaming happens a lot and some people are so blatant about it. There's another story where a school suggested a 13-year-old get breast reduction surgery to stop bullying. This story is a classic case of victim blaming.

I'm not even sure what I am more angry about, the school's passive approach to a serious problem which can be detrimental to this girl's wellbeing or the school letting the student know that she needs to change in order for the bullying to stop.

Think about it: how is someone who had no/zero/zilch/nada part in deciding how they were going to look like, at fault for getting bullied? How does that work?

Who is the root of all evil on the playground? The bullies are. They are the low self-esteem people who feel the need to drag others down so they can pull themselves up. They are the ones that are responsible for this. They should be blamed. They should be stopped.

People who are getting bullied should never, ever, ever, ever be blamed for being bullied.

Victim blaming is just a copout for schools so that they don't have to take the responsibility of targeting bullying.

If schools did a better job of dealing with bullies and parents did too, then a lot of the bullying would actually stop and many children wouldn't end up with self-esteem/confidence issues or dead because of suicide.

We don't control the way we look, but bullies can control their bullying behaviour.